I am listening to Norah Jones, while I am sitting here typing with disgust and anger. I HATE MEN! You know, those lying, cheating, sons of bitches? Whew, writing that made me feel much better... Mwahahaha! I can't even begin to mourn the time I have wasted on mooning and pining away for their lot!!! This is Hans Christian Andersen's fault. If it weren't for his collection of fairy tales, women wouldn't have been raised to believe the myth of Prince Charming and all the other archetypical figures depicting men as chivalrous, decent creatures. I guess we could safely say that he was the original and ultimate "sonafabitch". He succeeded in casting on women a spell of happily-ever-afters. WELL LADIES, ITS ALL JUST A BUNCH OF CROCK!…Just like men invented air freshners to hide pungent odors…men invented stories to hide their bullshit.

I've always thought that something was wrong with me because I've been infinitely single. Now I know that I was mistaken. There is NOTHING WRONG with being single, we were just made to think so. It is because society treats single people like lepers or charity cases that we are afraid to be stigmatized and traumatized in the same way. Try as we might to ignore society and ride the path of deviancy we still end up priming, plucking, cutting, bleaching and painting ourselves in order to snag the perfect mate alias "Mr. Right". C'mon, don't' be ashamed to admit it. At one time or another, we choked and panicked. It is but a natural reaction to all this pressure and conditioning we get from society. The truth is we just want to be free from all the pitying glances, prying questions and horrifying set-ups.

Well SINGLE LADIES, LO and BEHOLD! We shouldn't fear anything anymore. I have arrived at a theory that will save us from all the unnecessary heartaches and headaches. It's not entirely new…just something I was able to synthesize from years of research and experimentation (NOT!). For this I would have to thank Darwin, my favorite scientist, for his greatest humanitarian contribution: the theory of evolution.

My theory is that us SINGLETONS are the next species in the evolutionary cycle. Notice how the ratio of women to men have become grossly uneven. According to recent studies, the world's population shows that for every 10 persons, 7 are women and only 3 are men. I would like to point out that from this dwindling 30%, a handful are religiously celibate, most are married to a percentage from the 70% and a lot are increasingly becoming gay!!!

We should not be sad and treat this fact as a loss. We should be flattered because this only means that more people want to become women. It is nature's way of weeding out the weak. Based from the figures above, it won't take a rocket scientist to realize that women will eventually reign supreme. When that day comes none of this man-woman relationship spin cycle would have mattered. SINGLETONS of this era are simply paving the way for the existence of future species.

So chin up girls…do you really think we wouldn't survive without men? Well, of course a few of their gender might be retained for the purposes of reproduction. But with recent breakthroughs in biotechnology I doubt if we would need them physically. So SINGLETONS of the world unite! We have cause to celebrate our independence and freedom.